It feels good to come home after having been away for 6 months... As I was having a nice talk with my mother and sister this Shabbos afternoon, we were talking (obviously) about shidduchim and marriage and all that amazing stuff, and I asked my mother if, when she was young, she ever pictured herself, as an older single. She told me she never thought of her life that way.
I then said that I do, and sometimes, I picture myself as an older sigle. By older single, I mean those who are coming close to their thirties, live a life of a "grown-up" and arouse real pity to everyone around.
My sister laughed at me like I was crazy, and my mother said she never realized how desperate I was.
I came on to explain that I know people who are 'Older singles', and are having a hard time being it. I added that these girls were all great girls when they were 20 and never thought of the possibility they might not get married easily and as early as everyone thought.
I said that maybe, if I can anticipate such a future, it will be easier to deal with if the future turns out to be one of an older single.
Am I a pessimistic? Am I crazy?
Maybe yes, maybe not.
I am tired of picturing myself in a white gown, like my friends, pregnant, like my friends, running a house and a small (and growing) family, and its not happenning. So maybe, if I picture myself as an older single, it won't happen...
3 comments:
I try not to visualize life that way.
Sure, I think about the gown, I analyze venues, I even have high chairs picked out. I'm a planner by nature; I'm willing to wait to have those things, but I like to have the research taken care of.
On the other hand, I always keep my expectations low, to prevent crashing.
I think along the lines that being single at a certain age is necessary to get the bashert in the end; there are many factors that the Eibishter deals with, in terms of timing and such.
If I think along those lines, not about being older or younger or single or pity from others, but only strictly about what comes from the Matchmaker upstairs, I am calm and serene.
For the most part.
I think the thing to focus on is you being happy. Develop your hobbies, interests and create meaningful relationships with your friends. Marriage is great but it is hard and isn't all it's cracked up to be all the time. I've become much, much sadder as a married person than I ever was as a single.
Thanks for your comments
I am trying to make the most of singlehood, but I feel I want to go beyond that singlehood.
My last thought was: How long can I stay single for?
Post about it coming soon...
Post a Comment