Time is a precious gift given to us by the Creator of the World. Paradoxically, He has no time. He's Past, Present and Future all at once.
I can think of one explanation for that phenomenon. Time is the most efficient tool for self-improvement. Look at the past, correct it in the present and the future, and watch the outcome of your efforts.
He does not need improvment, because He is Perfection. So He doesn't need time.
In dating, time is for sure an advantage. You mature, you get to meet more inspirationnal people, you get to give thoughts to a lot more things, refine and adjust your expectations and ambitions.
But I see in time a great danger too.
Another fear that I have regarding extended singlehood is the fear of loosing my objectivity.
Right now, I think I know myself, and I know what kind of life I want to build. But I'm scared. I'm sacred that if it takes too long to fidn the right guy, I might end up saying yes to a guy I don't feel is right, just so I'll be married.
Maybe I will compromise on things I feel are important to me, maybe I will overlook some issues, to make it look right, when deep down, I'll know it's not. But I'll be married, and that's what I'm looking for, no?
I have seen in my close and less close acquaintances the damages caused by divorce, mismatched couples etc. And I am so scared to be one of them. I think I keep that in mind all the time, to make sure I don't date or actually marry someone's who's not suitable.
But what if I lose patience, and lose this clarity of mind, and allow myself to go for things I normally wouldn't, just for the sake of marriage? And if I didn't work out in the, end, and I suffer, and i could have avoided it by being more carfeul?
1 comment:
You need to daven. And daven. And daven some more.
Daven for clarity. Daven that you should make the right decision. And daven that Hashem should send the right one along soon - and when He does you'll feel it so strongly in your heart that you'll know it's the one!
A person has to know what are the real priorities and what they think are important for reasons that don't matter...like caring about what other people will think or something like that. Don't let anyone convince you (yourself included) to marry someone just for the sake of being married! Cuz you want a marriage that's gonna last and that will happen if you marry someone who is best for YOU!
May that day come real soon!!
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