5/17/2011

Multiple dating

I had an idea, and I came across that post from Premium Non Nocere, and as I commented there, my idea is slightly different.

Just to summarize, he offers multiple dating as a solution to increase your "chances of meeting that special someone"

I don't think triple dating is helpful if what you have is to pick the one you liked from the three, and possibly entering a conflict with your now-rival-dating-mate On the contrary, I think it might increase headaches, commitment issues and make decisions much harder to take.

Instead, two couples should be set up, but instead of having coffee face to face, they should have it all of them together, have a nice time, and from then on, if it went well, continue on regular dates, and keeping the other guy (if you're a girl, or vive-versa) totally out of the game.

The rules should be that none of the four ( or six ) people should know each other beforehand, nor be set up twice with a person, be it a same gender part, or opposite gender, occupying the position of the actual date or teh co-dater.
This will save us from awkward silences, from boring conversations just to fill the conventional 2 hours a first date is supposed to be, and I'll spare you the rest. You can just imagine from your own experiences...

A problem that might occur is that the human nature is to desire what you can't have, so great are the chances you'll look more into the person that isn't intended for you. Are we willing to take the risk?

Now, of course, Halachic authorities will never agree with this, as the will equate it to mixed socializing, and therefore not appropriate...

But I like my theory, and if my friends would set me up this way, I would definitely go for it... Or I think I will.
Only problem, I get really nervous before a date, so now I'll be twice (or three times) as nervous... Ouch !!!

1 comment:

Shades of Grey said...

I talked about something a little similar a while ago on my blog: http://walkingthegreyline.blogspot.com/2010/03/alternadating.html

You present an interesting concept. The biggest problem with any ideas of new or unsual dating practices, though designed to alleviate problems caused by the "shidduch crisis." People don't like change, and especially in this area where social norms are often so confining and rigid in how they must be obeyed.

I do believe that new ideas are the key to changing the problems of the system as we have it. I just don't know what those ideas are for sure.