I feel lost.
A few night ago, I went out with a group of friends to celebrate my recent roommate engagement. We were four, the four of us used to have such great times together, back then.
We went out for drinks, two of them married, the recently engaged friend, and my, the poor nebach single friend of the group. I couldn't follow discussions. It revolved around choosing a wedding gown, selecting a hall, then moved on to how hard it is to be in college and run a house, and even as far as discussing how they felt when they and their first baby.
You have to understand that I'm not a jealous person. I really don't care that the discussion doesn't revolve around me and that I don't care about the topics that are being brought up. And I usually don't really mind small talk. But for a reason I can't understand, I felt like i wasn't even there. I spent most of the time playing with my friend's baby, and it looked like they didn't even realize I wasn't taking part in the reunion.
I get it that when girls get married, their interests change and blablabla...
But I wonder if they really changed. After all, they all felt comfortable around each other, chatted and whatever. I didn't find any interest in their discussions, didn't feel the connection I used to feel around them, didn't even look forward to the reunion.
So, have they changed that they don't interest me anymore? Or have I? Am i different?
I think that one good thing about extended singlehood is that you have time to think, reflect, analyse, and make your own opinion about life, things, challenges and lots of other fascinating things. I like to look at it as a chance my friends who got married young didn't have, although they have lots of much better things to do than torture their mind wiht questions like I do. But what can you do, I don't have a baby to get up to feed during the night...
So maybe their talks don't interest me anymore because I have changed, I matured.
Or maybe, because life led us to take different paths, we were bound to change, all of us, according to the way we live?
I don't care what the anwer is, all I want are my friends back... no matter what it takes, I want my friends back...
3 comments:
I feel your pain...that must really hurt.
Sometimes people just move on... But if you like the person, it doesn't matter what they're talking about.
I've gotten along by keeping my ears open and learning enough to participate. While wedding gowns and halls are tedious and I probably wouldn't participate either, I'm much better at conversations regarding pregnancy, children, time management, housekeeping, etc.
Good luck.
By the way, I really like your blog. I wish I'd seen that you were in Israel last week when I was in Jerusalem...
You're absolutely right. I still hang with them because I like my friends even though we don't have the same interests anymore... Believe it or not, I even have an opinion of my own on taking care of babies. Yhe main problem is that my opinion doesn't count when we're talking, cuz after all, what do I know?
So that's why, as you might have read in another poster, I started making new friends...
And I am looking forward for your next trip to the Holy Land !
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